The Break up Shopping Trip
It's Friday night, I’ve text my whole phone book and Face booked all my female friends; who just so happened to all be attached and unavailable for the next month. God what is it with these people in a relationship needing a months notice to fit me in between their christenings, weddings and bloody baby showers, it's all bollo%&*. I’m weighing up all my options. Do I go out with the freak from uni that always had a secret crush on me? Or my one single girl mate, who to be honest borders on being a bunny boiler? God I must be getting desperate to consider these, any company would do at the moment…. Night in I think!
The parents are away for the weekend and I have the house to myself for some well deserved Charlie time. I know, I’ll go shopping and get myself a good DVD, bottle of wine and a take away.... that’s what I need.
So.....I drive to Tesco, listening to the Destiny Child song ‘Survivor’ in a desperate attempt to make myself feel better about my new single status; whilst debating what to do with a whole weekend to myself. I pull up and head straight to the wine aisle. Rosé is what is needed tonight, then it’s off to purchase my two new favorite men Ben and Jerry; and finally the all important tear jerker movie. What should I get? Something that will make me utterly depressed; that would be Romeo and Juliet, The Notebook, Titanic, Beaches and Sex and the City. Oh! And now I need something that will cheer me up, mmm The Break Up and Sliding Doors (which just so happens to be directed by my loser of an ex best friends cousin). Ok choices choices…. Right, I’ll have them all. After all, I deserve it after what I’ve been through.
Ok next stop, Boarders. I need some inspiration and guidance so I head straight to the self help section. Where the shelves are crammed with fitting titles and I find myself laughing out loud at some of the advice from ‘Lose the Loser.’ Great, I’m slowly turning into a Northern version of Bridget Jones, including the granny knickers. And let’s face it; no one’s going down there for a while…. Several titles later I head to the counter to spend another £60 I don’t have on books. I have the wine, the break up food, the DVDs and half of the self help section in my car, it’s off to Boots. I go and stock up on bubble bath, face masks and anything else that I can find that will make me feel better.
